We’re standing in the dark
Feelings of resentment and confusion
Hanging in the heavy air
Drunks stumble past
Stray dogs bark and howl
Cars whiz by
Hurrying to go nowhere, down the dark road
“What’s wrong”
I ask
Knowing the answer without it leaving his lips
I tilt my head and look up at him
He’s taller then me
Just by a little bit
2 or 3 inches
But in that moment he seems so huge
“What happened tonight?”
He asks
I can feel my throat tighten
My blood start to pump through my veins
Harder and faster
I can feel my emotions bubbling up in my throat
“Just say it” he tells me
“Spit it out”
But I can’t spit it out
I’m silently choking on the words that are stuck inside me
My face is growing hot
It feels like there is a vice grip on my skull
“It was nothing, I just didn’t feel well”
I lie through my teeth
Hoping he’ll let it go
That he’ll just forgive me
And we can go inside
Scoot to our sides of the bed
And I can fall into another night of restless sleep
Just so I can wake up next to him again
But he doesn’t let it go
“That’s bullshit” he tells me
And I know he’s right
The words now butting against the sides of my mouth
I blurt it out
Tears streaming down my face
I don’t want to admit it
I can’t admit it
But they come out in a painful fury
Knives cutting through the muggy hot summer air
“You hurt me”
His eyes go dim
The apathy he’s so well known for sets in
He’s still there
Standing before me
But in that moment I know
That I’m alone again
